Friday, January 16, 2009

I will not feel guilty

Why is it that even though I have my days off approved I still feel a bit guilty not going into work? I started my 32 hour work week today, by taking today off. Monday I start the real 32 hour week. But my boss ok'd the day off, and I still felt a bit guilty. Dunno why. Work ethic I guess.
I did sleep in, but I finished my 4 inches on Orange Dream, the preemie blanket, and went to get my oil changed and all those little extras that go with the oil change and started the 2nd section of the baby sweater while I waited. All the laundry is folded and put away. I threw all the sweaters that need to go to goodwill on the closet floor in a corner so I know they have to go in a bag and go downstairs.
I'm kinda looking at this reduction in my hours as getting my life back together a bit. Kinda like when I took those 5 days off last sept and did a lot of housework. This is kinda a bit of me-work. It will include housework, but mostly I need to get myself re-grounded in being happy. That probably doesn't make any sense. I will try to explain. When things at work go the way they have been, slow, I get tired and crabby. I come home and I don't want to do anything. On the weekends I sleep in too late and don't spend enough time on me because of all the crap I have to catch up on. I don't knit what I want because of all the charity stuff (charity stuff is not bad, just the not knitting other stuff is bad). I cram in my tivo'd shows and knit what I'm supposed to and go to bed. then i start over again on monday. This way of living, day after day and week after week, gets to me. It makes me slow and tired and crabby and not very happy.
So I am taking the opportunity granted to me by the slowness of work to take some time off, meaning shorten my hours and spend more time with myself. And other people... however it works out. This means I'm getting off work at 3:30 instead of 4:30 and off on friday. This means 1 more hour to myself during the week, and friday as well. All of you that know me know that my time to myself is extremely important. I love Eric, but he's the same way as me, we both need our alone time. But since he is self employed, he gets more days to himself than I do.
This change in hours will end in April, as all good things have to do, but it will be ok. Because our billing dept is undergoing some serious changes come April and May, and they are exciting potentially life changing changes. (well... life at work changes).
So I'm not going to feel guilty. I am going to take this extra time that the universe has allowed me to have and have some me time.

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